- Lead time:
- three evenings, and weeks to let it sink in
- Costs:
- none
In this conversation you decide together whether Hungary fits, and you
choose where you'll live. You end up with a few conditions on paper that
you both stand behind.
Going alone? Then have this conversation with the people you leave behind.
The questions below work for them too.
Take three evenings. One conversation is too short for a decision like
this. Agree on three evenings, with a week in between:
- Evening 1, why. What do we hope to find in Hungary? What are we leaving behind here? Would that really be different there?
- Evening 2, what we give up. Who and what will we miss? What are we dreading most? What do we do if it disappoints?
- Evening 3, the conditions. What has to be arranged for each of us to say yes? When do we check together whether it's going well, for example after six and after twelve months? And what would be a reason for us to go back?
Write the conditions down. On the kitchen-table card it all fits on one A4
sheet.
Divide the work. Agree who takes on which part of this plan: the
papers, the house and the cancellations, the school, the move. That way
not one of you carries everything. Invite your partner into your plan;
then you can both see what's done.
Is one of you going without an income of your own? Whoever lives in
Hungary and doesn't work in the Netherlands usually no longer builds up
AOW. For every year you're not insured, you later get 2 percent less AOW.
From the moment you're no longer insured, you have one year to take out
voluntary insurance with the SVB. Also discuss whether that partner keeps
an account and money of their own, and how you decide together on big
expenses.
Married, registered or living together? It can make a difference for
your partner's residence permit, for co-insurance in healthcare and for
inheritance. Check at your registration and at your healthcare further on
in your plan what applies to you.
Are children coming? How you tell them depends on their age:
- Up to about four: tell them shortly before the move and keep fixed habits, like the bedtime ritual and the cuddly toy in the hand luggage.
- Primary school: tell them well in advance and let them look along: photos of the school, the neighbourhood and the house. Let them choose something, like their room.
- Teenagers: involve them in the decision itself. For them, saying goodbye to friends weighs heaviest. Agree how they keep in touch and when they see their friends again.
In Hungary kindergarten is compulsory from the age of three, not optional.
The kindergarten of your area must admit your child.
Who learns the language, and when? Discuss the language before you
choose the place, because it doesn't affect everyone equally:
- For adults who work from home, Hungarian is a hobby.
- For children at a village school, it's the whole day.
- For the partner without work it's often the hardest: they need the language badly, and have precisely no colleagues to practise with.
That makes the place a choice between convenience and space as well:
- Whoever goes to Budapest buys convenience and pays for it.
- Whoever goes to Lake Balaton or the south-west buys space, and a language none of you speaks.
Agree who is going to learn Hungarian, and how. Plan it together,
preferably before you leave.