- Lead time:
- three evenings, and weeks to let it sink in
- Costs:
- none
In this step you decide together whether you're going. You end up with a
few conditions on paper that you both stand behind. This is the moment to
still be able to say no. After phase 2 that costs money.
Going alone? Then have this conversation with the people you leave behind.
The questions below work for them too.
Take three evenings. One conversation is too short for a decision like
this. Agree on three evenings, with a week in between:
- Evening 1, why. What do we hope to find in England? What are we leaving behind here? Would that really be different there?
- Evening 2, what we give up. Who and what will we miss? What are we dreading most: starting again with a new school, new healthcare and a new network? What do we do if it disappoints?
- Evening 3, the conditions. What has to be arranged for each of us to say yes? When do we check together whether it's going well, for example after six and after twelve months? And what would be a reason for us to go back?
Write the conditions down. On the kitchen-table card it all fits on one A4
sheet.
England comes with one question that needs to be on the table. The
residence hangs on one job. Which of you carries the visa, and with it that
job? And what does it mean if that job stops?
Divide the work. Agree who takes on which part of this plan: the papers
for the visa, the house and the cancellations, the school, the move. That
way not one of you carries everything. Invite your partner into your plan;
then you can both see what's done.
Is one of you going without an income of your own? Whoever lives in
England and doesn't work in the Netherlands usually no longer builds up
AOW. For every year you're not insured, you later get 2 percent less AOW.
From the moment you're no longer insured, you have one year to take out
voluntary insurance with the SVB. Also discuss whether that partner keeps
an account and money of their own, and how you decide together on big
expenses.
Married, registered or living together? It can make a difference for
your partner's residence permit, for co-insurance in healthcare and for
inheritance. Your partner and children under 18 can come along as
dependants: family members on your visa. That applies with a job
listed as higher skilled on the occupation list. If your job is listed
as medium skilled, or you're going to work as a care worker or senior
care worker, your partner and children can usually not come along from
abroad. GOV.UK then names only two exceptions:
- You have already been continually employed in the UK on this visa in such a job: for medium skilled since before 22 July 2025, as a care worker since before 11 March 2024.
- It concerns a child born in the UK.
Anyone leaving the Netherlands now usually doesn't fall under these. So
check this point at your occupation code too, before you apply for jobs.
As a partner counts a
marriage or registered partnership that is recognised in the UK. If you're
not married or registered, you show in the application that you've been
living together for at least two years. Or that you've been in a
relationship for two years but can't live together for a good reason. For
dependants the following also applies:
- Each family member pays their own fees and their own IHS.
- There's an additional funds requirement: £285 for your partner, £315 for the first child and £200 per further child.
- Your partner may work freely in the UK.
- In the dependant requirements GOV.UK mentions no language requirement. That lies only with you as the main applicant.
Are children coming? How you tell them depends on their age:
- Up to about four: tell them shortly before the move and keep fixed habits, like the bedtime ritual and the cuddly toy in the hand luggage.
- Primary school: tell them well in advance and let them look along: photos of the school, the neighbourhood and the house. Let them choose something, like their room.
- Teenagers: involve them in the decision itself. For them, saying goodbye to friends weighs heaviest. Agree how they keep in touch and when they see their friends again.
In England most children start school in the September after their fourth
birthday. You apply for a place through the local council, the council
where you're going to live. You can already do that from the Netherlands.
Who learns the language, and when? In England everything is in
English: the GP, the school, the neighbours. The language requirement only
applies to you. Still, the partner without work often needs the language
most, and precisely that partner has no colleagues to practise with. Is
the English of one of you rusty? Then plan together how to brush it up,
preferably before you leave.