- Lead time:
- three evenings, and weeks to let it sink in
- Costs:
- none
In this step you decide together whether it will be Denmark. Denmark
feels close: one day's drive, a culture that resembles ours. That makes it
easy to underestimate the differences.
Going alone? Then have this conversation with the people you leave
behind. The questions below work for them too.
Take three evenings. One conversation is too short for a decision like
this. Agree on three evenings, a week apart:
- Evening 1, why. What do we hope to find in Denmark? What are we leaving behind here? Would that really be different there?
- Evening 2, what we give up. Who and what will we miss? What are we dreading most? What do we do if it disappoints?
- Evening 3, the conditions. What has to be in place for each of us to say yes? When do we check together whether it's going well, for example after six and after twelve months? And what would be a reason for us to go back?
Write the conditions down. On the kitchen-table card it all fits on one
A4.
On those evenings, also discuss two differences that are easy to
underestimate:
- The money in the first months. You pay up to six months' rent in advance. And as long as your tax card isn't sorted, an employer withholds the emergency rate: an extra-high deduction from your pay.
- The welfare state that works just differently. The dentist is largely uninsured for adults. And unemployment insurance is voluntary. Whoever doesn't take it out has no safety net on dismissal.
Divide the work. Agree who takes on which part of this plan: the
papers, the house and the cancellations, the school, the move. That way
not one of you carries everything. Invite your partner into your plan;
then you both see what's done.
Is one of you going without an income of your own? Whoever lives in
Denmark and doesn't work in the Netherlands usually no longer builds up
AOW, the Dutch state pension. For every year you're not insured, you later
get 2 percent less AOW. You can insure yourself voluntarily with the SVB.
You have one year for that, counted from the moment you're no longer
insured. Also discuss whether that partner keeps an account and money of
their own, and how you decide together on large expenses.
Married, registered or living together? That can make a difference for
your partner's residence permit, for co-insurance in healthcare and for
inheritance. Check at the registration and at your healthcare further on
in your plan what applies to you.
Are children coming? How you tell them depends on their age:
- Up to about four. Tell them shortly before the move and keep fixed routines, such as the bedtime ritual and the cuddly toy in the hand luggage.
- Primary school. Tell them well in advance and let them look along: photos of the school, the neighbourhood and the house. Let them choose something, such as their room.
- Teenagers. Involve them in the decision itself. For them, saying goodbye to friends weighs the most. Agree how they keep in touch and when they'll see their friends again.
How the folkeskole works, the ordinary Danish school, and how childcare is
arranged, is in the article about school with this step.
Who learns the language, and when? Reading Danish comes quickly,
understanding spoken Danish is another story. At work and at school Danish
is the norm. Often the partner without work needs the language most, and
that's exactly the one without colleagues to practise with. Plan it
together, preferably before you leave.