- Lead time:
- three evenings, and weeks to let it sink in
- Costs:
- none
With this step you decide together whether it will be China. Some things
only start to weigh later. Discuss them together now, before you decide.
Going alone? Then have this conversation with the people you leave
behind. The questions below work for them too.
Take three evenings. One conversation is too short for a decision like
this. Agree on three evenings, a week apart:
- Evening 1, why. What do we hope to find in China? What are we leaving behind here? Would that really be different there?
- Evening 2, what we give up. Who and what will we miss? What are we dreading most? What do we do if it disappoints?
- Evening 3, the conditions. What has to be in place for each of us to say yes? When do we check together whether it's going well, for example after six and after twelve months? And what would be a reason for us to go back?
Write the conditions down. On the kitchen-table card it all fits on one
A4.
On those evenings, take these points along too:
- Your partner's career. On an S1 family visa your partner may not work. That takes a work permit of their own, with the same threshold as yours. Two careers therefore means clearing class B twice.
- The AOW trap. A single person gets the married rate of the AOW (the Dutch state pension) here, the lower amount for married people, for as long as you live here. The full story is in phase 3, but it belongs in this conversation.
- The country itself. You're building a life in a state with a filtered internet and a different legal order. Permanent residence is out of reach for almost everyone.
For many people it's the experience of their life. But say the trade-off
out loud.
Divide the work. Agree who takes on which part of this plan: the
papers for the visa, the house and the cancellations, the school, the
move. That way not one of you carries everything. Invite your partner into
your plan; then you both see what's done.
Is one of you going without an income of your own? Whoever lives in
China and doesn't work in the Netherlands usually no longer builds up AOW.
For every year you're not insured, you later get 2 percent less AOW. You
can insure yourself voluntarily with the SVB. You have one year for that,
counted from the moment you're no longer insured. Also discuss whether
that partner keeps an account and money of their own, and how you decide
together on large expenses.
Married, registered or living together? That can make a difference for
your partner's residence permit, for co-insurance in healthcare and for
inheritance. In China it makes all the difference. The legal family
circle, the people who may come along on a family visa, knows only
spouses, children under 18 and parents (in-law). For unmarried partners
there's no route. Check at the visa further on in your plan what applies
to you.
Are children coming? How you tell them depends on their age:
- Up to about four. Tell them shortly before the move and keep fixed routines, such as the bedtime ritual and the cuddly toy in the hand luggage.
- Primary school. Tell them well in advance and let them look along: photos of the school, the neighbourhood and the house. Let them choose something, such as their room.
- Teenagers. Involve them in the decision itself. For them, saying goodbye to friends weighs the most. Agree how they keep in touch and when they'll see their friends again.
In China you choose between an international school, an international
division of a Chinese school, or an ordinary Chinese school. What that
means per age is in the article about school with this step.
Who learns the language, and when? English opens the door at
international employers. But the local government office, the hospital
and nearly every app speak Chinese. Often the partner without work needs
the language most, and that's exactly the one without colleagues to
practise with. Plan it together, preferably before you leave. The step
about the language and the internet, earlier in your plan, says how to
start.